No, I haven't invested in Coca-Cola stock.
It seems the vending machine gods have smiled down upon me today. On my lunch break I inserted my $1.25 into the break room Coke machine. The customary whirring began, and out popped Bottle #1.
I reached down to grab it, then paused. Customary whirring continued. At first it seemed the machine was just settling back into it's lethargical (yes, I know it's not a word) state, but then lo and behold, out came Bottle #2. The noises continued ominously.
At this point I started erratically pushing every button on the machine, envisioning an onslaught of relatively heavy bottles hurtling at me. For the briefest moment I wondered if I should start jumping up and down yelling, "I won, I won!" or just duck and cover - "Hit the deck!"
The mechanical noises showed no sign of stopping and there it was, right on cue, Bottle #3.
Finally, after a brief episode of me shaking the machine (which in retrospect could've made matters much worse; must be some sort of defense mechanism - when in mechanical doubt, physically abuse the machine), everything fell silent. I waited for a moment thinking this might be a trick. Then across the small digital face scrolled the words: "Transaction finished. Have a nice day."
Damn machines will kill us all one day. Mark my words.
